Divorce can split apart families – even after proceedings are over and done with. Children are affected the most in any divorce, but their suffering can be reduced. Even though the conversation is going to be far from pleasant, discussing the divorce with them as well as why mom and dad are parenting in separate homes can help them adjust to their new situation faster.
While custody affects everyone involved in the family, it affects children the most since they have to adjust to changing living arrangements. What you say and how you say it when explaining why and how they should live in two different households can have a long-lasting impact. Here are a few tips that can help you broach this discussion with your children in a calm manner:
Stick to The Facts
Children are impressionistic and can take what you say too seriously for their own good. As such, make sure you explain terms regarding the custody arrangement as simply as possible. Here are some things you can tell them:
- The parent who will drop them off and pick them from school
- Which parent they will stay with and how much time they will spend in their home. This may be decided by the court and cannot be changed
- The parent who will provide transportation
- The schedules they need to follow for both parents
- Where they will live during vacations and during any other days they have off from school
Avoid Distressing Topics
Your children are already going through an emotional roller coaster. Discussing topics with them that can distress them further is counterproductive for your post-divorce family life. Here are some things you should not do:
- Explain why their parents went through a divorce in explicit terms
- Badmouth the other parent in front of the children
- Discuss spousal and child support arrangements with them
- Discuss your financial situation with them
The bottom line is – if something does not concern the children explicitly or is not in their best interests, they should not be made aware of them. Those conversations should be between the parents and their attorneys, especially if your children are too young to understand the situation.
If you are currently going through a divorce, you understand how difficult keeping emotions in check can be. Making tough decisions (such as calculating child custody support) and coming to amicable resolutions with your ex during this time can seem impossible, but can be made easier if you have an experienced attorney in your corner.
This is where the attorneys at The Fitzgerald Law Firm can prove invaluable. We understand exactly what you are going through and can help you get through it by resolving legal issues, child custody disputes and come to an amicable resolution with your ex-spouse. Our aim is to provide compassionate services during this challenging time that can help you come to peaceful resolutions and get your life back on track. Get in touch with us for a consultation in Naperville, Illinois, today.